oct 31 2009

happy halloween!! Besides stealing from my children to pacify my obvious sugar addiction, halloween intrigues me because of the varying responses to this holiday. I love all the alternatives offered, fall festival, trunk or treat or the always popular hallelujah hoe downs!! The idea of trunk or treat creeps me out a little bit. Lets fill our trunks with candy and then lure kids to lean over and grab some out. Isn't that asking somebody to lock your kid in the trunk and take off? Maybe I'm just paranoid.

My poor Ava was sick this year so we stayed home and watched ice age three while carving a pumpkin. Only one set of trick or treaters came thru so I gave each of them a massive handful of candy. It was fun to see their eyes light up at my generosity until one came back and wanted more for her sister!! That's the kind of candy collecting persistence I respect.

Next year I'm boycotting halloween and celebrating Reformation day instead. My plan is to dress up as Martin Luther and go around the neighborhood nailing handwritten copies of the 95 thesis on peoples doors. I think it could be a great witnessing tool and really bring revival. Ava and Addy will go with me as darth vader and the death star.

anyways, thats not till next year, I want to know what you did for halloween this year incase I make a last minute decision to reject reformation. Comments and commentary always welcome!!!

awkward public moments

Yesterday, i decided to take the girls grocery shopping alone so that Kendra could run on the treadmill (the things I won't do for love). It wasn't the first time I've taken my life in my hands this way, but this trip involved not one, but multiple moments of embarrassment that can happen when you have your kids not only in public, but a walmart.

Everything was going fine until we were in an aisle with a couple and the man was missing one of his legs. His jean pant leg was hemmed up on that side and he walked with one crutch. It didn't begin too bad, my girls basically stared and declared to everyone within earshot that he was missing a leg. I concurred that indeed this was the case, but pointe out he seemed to be getting along very well with his crutch. "whats a crotch?!!!" addy yells at the top of her lungs. No, a Crutch, addy, a crUUUUtch. Then the questions started rolling of their young tongues. "How did his leg fall off dad?" It don't think it fell off honey, I bet he lost it in an accident. "how do you lose your leg daddy, can we look for it?" No honey.

As I said it wasn't that bad at this point, but we literally ran into them in EVERY AISLE!! Each time we passed them both girls would just stare at this guy with complete rubbernecks, devoid of any shame. Then the questions took a little turn for the worse.
How can he run daddy? I don't think he can run honey, lets not talk about this anymore ok? Then Ava decides to add her anatomical insight with "what if somebody lost their butt, they couldn't go potty!" Addy erupts in laughter and I'm suddenly looking for a spot next to the soupcans big enough to crawl into. I stand there frozen with fear, positive that the whole store was going to stop their shopping to point at the dad with the insensitive kids. I kept waiting for "handicapped haters aisle seven" to come over the loudspeaker.

I grabbed ava's arm and told her that we were done talking about this and it was not something to joke about. I'm not sure if the man heard them or not, but I made sure to smile and act oblivious to everything as I walked by.

No sooner had we gone two more aisles, when a rather large woman was walking toward us with her shirt riding up a little further than I'm sure she was aware, and much further than anyone wanted to see. I chalked it up as a walmart norm until Addy burst out with "daddy, look at her stomach!!!" at about the same volume Michael Buffer yells 'Lets get ready to rumble" before a prize fight. Then Ava chimes in "she walks like a penguin!!!!!!!" I am not making this up. Completely mortified, l gave them both the "eye" combined with the "what did I just say" in my grinch that stole christmas voice. Both of them gave a half hearted sorry and I made a beeline for the checkout before we ran into someone in a wheelchair or something.

They've never really done anything like this before so I was ill prepared to handle it. I had a talk with them about it when we got home, but I'm wondering if any other parents have advice on how to handle this? At least lie and tell me that your kids have done something similar so I can shake this "your a bad parent feeling." comments welcome.

no corn on the cob in her future

Ava has officially lost both of her front teeth. The first one came out at school after a blow to the grill from an angry first grader over playground turf. Ok, thats not true, except that it did fall out at school.

The next one was super loose and then started to rotate in her mouth while she was eating dinner which really freaked her out. Of course Kendra was at a small group so I had to deal with the snaggle tooth drama. It was hanging by a thread, but she wouldn't let me pull it out!! I didn't exactly have the perfect vocabulary for the situation and mildly alarmed her with my "it just needs one quick yank" declaration. There was little hope of compliance once I let that slip out. If i even touched her lip she started crying.


Ultimately we went with the ice in a washcloth routine and it was so loose that she ended up pushing it out herself with no blood, sweat, or tears.

Wasn't sure how to handle the monetary aspect of a lost tooth, even after much facebook advice. I was going to go with euro's under the pillow due to the declining value of the dollar, and with a one world currency imminently looming, I was sure this was the financially responsible choice. I went against my gut (Kendra helped with my gut change) and slipped a certificate under her pillow for a free toy of her choice (from the dollar store:) what can I say, I'm still dutch"

Here she is with her certificate and prize!!! Looking to download all i want for christmas is my two front teeth on the ole ipod this season.

God and Joan Jett?

I was borrowing a buddies truck to move something on tuesday, and I noticed he had xm satellite radio. Since I'm not used to having music genre on demand, I flipped it to channel eight to rock out to some eighties music.

Joan Jett was screaming out "I hate myself for loving you, can't break free from the things that you do, I wanna walk, but I run back to you, so I hate my self....for loving you"

Instantly, (or at least right after I stopped headbanging), I thought about God's love for me. I couldn't help but wonder if He ever feels this way? I know it's not great theology, but songs do this to my brain sometimes. After all, look how screwed up the world is. I'm a christian and I say wrong things, think wrong things, and do wrong things all the time!!! I realize God forgave me by sending Jesus, but am I the only one who ever wonders if God looks at the world and wonders if it was really worth it? Does He ever "hate himself, for loving us?" Does he ever look at my life and say "Jon, this whole redemption thing cost me my only son, I thought you would be a little better christian by now?" This entire thought process probably lasted maybe a minute, and then men at work was on and I began screaming about how I come from a land down under, but here is how cool God is.

Literally the next day, I read this verse in my quiet time, "for God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and by means of His blood, reconciled and made peace with everything in heaven and on earth. This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. But now He has brought you into his presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault."

These words jumped off the page at me. God doesn't hate Himself for loving me!! No matter where you've been or what you've done, no matter how far away from God you are or were, It PLEASED Him to be able to reconcile and make peace with you. How much it cost should remind us how much we're worth!! Because of Jesus, God brings us into His awesome presence, holy, blameless, and without a single fault!! When God looks at you, it is thru the perfect lens of Jesus!!

Don't let the enemy move you off of this truth. We must be steadfast and immovable or we will begin to believe the lies that we aren't good enough, or haven't done enough. Our redemption is based completely on God's grace, stop trying to earn a gift.

I'm off to write a new song, "I love myself, for loving you"