Michael Scott says farewell as the regional manager tonight on the last episode of the office. Here is a list I ripped off from a guy I went to high school with of his top ten (very subjective obviously as there were thousands) awkward quotes.
10. Diversity Day (Season 1)
“Abraham Lincoln once said ‘If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North,’ and those are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.”
9. Lecture Circuit (Season 5)
“I don’t know you. But I need to know you in order to sell to you. That is why I have asked you to go around and tell me your names. I have an amazing mnemonic device by which I have memorized all of your names. Shirty, mole, lazy eye, Mexico, baldy, sugar boobs, black woman. I have taken a unique part of you and used that to memorize your name.”
8. Double Date (Season 6)
“Finish your cake, Helene. I want you to enjoy that cake. Because I have something terrible I need to tell you. And I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.”
7. The Convict (Season Three)
“Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What’s he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backwards. Baggy pants. He says something ordinary like ‘Yo, that’s shizzle’. Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Shame on you.”
6. Company Picnic (Season 5)
“I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together, and I’m going to find the perfect moment today and I am going to tell her. Number one: “Holly, you and I are soup snakes.” The… and the reason is… because… in terms of the soup, we like to – that doesn’t make any sense.”
5. Gay Witch Hunt (Season 3)
“You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.
3. Scott’s Tots (Season 6)
“I told them if they graduated from high school, I would pay for their college education. I have made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, that was the most generous.”
2. Phylllis’ Wedding (Season 3)
“They say your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you’re lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that’s crazy. I say, let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.”
1. Dinner Party (Season 4)
“You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!”