communication part 2

OK, I started with ten things you should never say to your wife, here is a much more difficult to come up with list of things wives should not say to their husbands. I ran one past kendra and she said it was inappropriate so I have come up with these=() I thought it was funny, but if you really want to know, come ask me and I'll share=)

10. "we should take dancing lessons" I'm petrified of dancing and while you may look at the foxtrot as a romantic way to connect, guys like me will be shaking worse than a ten year old trying to play operation after 7 redbulls. Anytime I'm forced to dance, I break into my shaun T hip hop abs routine and it's not pretty

9. "do you notice anything different about me?" Your hair? NO! New outfit? NO!!! "I can't believe you didn't notice I got a pedicure!!" :But your wearing shoes!!! SO??!!

8. "Do you know what today is?" Open ended nightmare!!! Any wrong answer inches you closer to the couch for the night

7. "we should stop and get directions" NEVER!!!!! That's like admitting defeat on every level. We know exactly where we are, we just don't know where the restaurant is.

6. "do these jeans make my butt look big?" Forget every Geico commercial you've ever seen, even honest Abe was lying thru his teeth. The answer is gonna be no even if it looks like you hid two ham hocks in your levi's.

5. "Hold my purse" Never a great idea especially now that man bags have been introduced. Someone might really think it's mine!!!~ Plus Kendra keeps small children and a rock collection in hers and I need a back brace to pick it up.

4. "Jim is surprising Nancy with tickets to (insert Celine deion, phantom of the opera, wrestlemania here) isn't that sweet?" You might not even mean to, but instantly we feel like we have to outdo Jim and have Josh Groban serenade you in the driveway.

3. "just pick out a movie we'll both like" This is quite literally impossible in my home and such a statement sets me up for major movie failure. How can a rocky marathon not be considered romantic? Don't tell Adrianne that.

2. Husband picks up phone, "hello?" wife's voice......."I'm out of tampons, can you stop at walgreens?" Why are you doing this to me!!!!~! I have to actually shop and make sure I get the right brand, flow, and it's too much pressure!!!

1. Told you, had to leave this one off the list=)

disclaimer....These are generic references and not supposed to represent anyone in particular. The names (kendra) have been removed to protect the innocent.