top ten worst halloween handouts

I remember as a kid, there were a few houses known for putting the ween in halloween. (I have no idea what that means, but it's supposed to be good.) It was the house that every t and t er (you catchin my oct. 31 lingo here?) got super pumped about because you knew that the goodies were gonna be flowin like the salmon of capistrano.

Then there were the other dreaded houses that although they had the light on, you knew that they were notorious for BUNK treats that scared children far worse than any werewolf or vampire.

Here is my own personal top ten list of worst halloween handouts.

10. cleveland cavaliers Lebron James jersey's---Yes I realize you can't eat these, but I had to throw it in their anyway. Probably because they are the most useless item on the planet right now and the only way to even give them away would be to sneak them in the unsuspecting bucket of a defenseless child.

9. dum dum suckers.---what is this, the bank? dum dums are the saddest excuse for suckers and look like someone spent two hours licking a real sucker, and then wrapped it back up. They shouldn't even be classified as loli-pops and I can only imagine the crestfallen face of tricker treaters as you smile and pretend that you actually gave them real candy.

8. a penny---seriously, we had a lady (big red house on wa****lsh street) who handed out pennies. I realize they are technically legal tender for all debts private or public, but at least take into account inflation and bump it up every year. I can't even buy a dum dum for a penny.

7. little star mint thingies-----You know what i'm talking about right? Those red and white star mints wrapped in plastic that look like they belong in a mens room urinal? Newsflash--no tricker treater is worried about their breath and nobody wants you or loves you red and white mint. You are worthless and now that I think about it, you may actually belong lower on this list than dum dums.


6. apples--yes this sort of tragedy does happen. Am I also the only one who heard the same story every year about some kid who got an apple on halloween, cut it down the middle and smoke/mist/poison leaked out? It was like a modern day sleeping beauty. I could barely eat apple pie without lifting the crust up after that. Here's a halloween hint, don't hand out fruit, of any kind. Anytime I got an apple it hit the road before the next house.

5. mystery round candy wrapped in that all orange wrapper----I think they were meant to taste like peanut butter, but they were more like chewy turds.

4. mystery candy wrapped in that all black wrapper.---This is the evil brother of the orange wrapper candy and way more sinister. It made the orange turd candy taste like a king size snickers. I think the main ingredient was cod liver oil and I would throw them away before they got in the wrong hands and someone used them to cast an evil spell or something.

3. smarties--possibly the worst candy every. Whoever named them smarties should have licked more dum dums. Half the time they would open themselves or split down the middle and spill all over anyway. My daughter is a sugarholic and even she thinks smarties are terrible.

2. toothpaste, toothbrushes, or dental floss---come on people. It's candy night, not push your cavity creep agenda night. If you want to opt out, its cool, just turn your light off and no one will judge you. Being a halloween hater is unacceptable.

1. Anything homemade---This is up there with handing out pecans or walnuts you gathered from your lawn. That popcorn ball my have been made by your sweet grandmother, or maybe Freddy Krueger. No child should take that risk. Instant trash status.


Did I miss any? Aren't you glad you didn't grow up in my neighborhood? =)

bullying

I have a confession to make.........I was a bully in grade school. oh yea, and maybe a tinnnnnny bit in middle school too. I was huge into professional "wrestling" and because I was bigger than most kids I felt obligated to try to put them in a sleeper hold or perfect my figure four leg lock on them. It was really more in the spirit of "playing" with friends than hard core hateful bullying for the sake of being mean, but I'm sure there were some times it got out of hand.

I ran across this article about a school in ohio that has had four suicides allegedly in response to bullying. (I say allegedly because as much as I hate bullying and believe it could easily lead to suicide, you never know if there are other factors like untreated depression or family history that could also play a part) The story of brutal attacks endured by a young girl whose family moved here from Croatia literally made me cry. I've included an excerpt from an ap article about the incident here........

"Sladjana Vidovic, whose family had moved to northeast Ohio from Bosnia when she was a little girl, was pretty, vivacious and charming. She loved to dance. She would turn on the stereo and drag her father out of his chair, dance him in circles around the living room.

“Nonstop smile. Nonstop music,” says her father, Dragan, who speaks only a little English.

At school, life was very different. She was ridiculed for her thick accent. Classmates tossed insults like “Slutty Jana” or “Slut-Jana-Vagina.” A boy pushed her down the stairs. A girl smacked her in the face with a water bottle.

Phone callers in the dead of night would tell her to go back to Croatia, that she’d be dead in the morning, that they’d find her after school, says Suzana Vidovic.

“Sladjana did stand up for herself, but toward the end she just kind of stopped,” says her best friend, Jelena Jandric. “Because she couldn’t handle it. She didn’t have enough strength.”

Vidovic’s parents say they begged the school to intervene many times. They say the school promised to take care of her............

Sladjana Vidovic’s body lay in an open casket, dressed in the sparkly pink dress she had planned to wear to the prom. Days earlier, she had tied one end of a rope around her neck and the other around a bed post before jumping out her bedroom window.

The 16-year-old’s last words, scribbled in English and her native Croatian, told of her daily torment at Mentor High School, where students mocked her accent, taunted her with insults like “Slutty Jana” and threw food at her.

It was the fourth time in little more than two years that a bullied high school student in this small Cleveland suburb on Lake Erie died at his or her own hand — three suicides, one overdose of antidepressants. One was bullied for being gay, another for having a learning disability, another for being a boy who happened to like wearing pink.

Now two families — including the Vidovics — are suing the school district, claiming their children were bullied to death and the school did nothing to stop it.

If there has been soul-searching among the bullies in Mentor — a pleasant beachfront community that was voted one of the “100 Best Places to Live” by CNN and Money magazine this year — Sladjana’s family saw too little of it at her wake in October 2008.

Suzana Vidovic found her sister’s body hanging over the front lawn. The family watched, she said, as the girls who had tormented Sladjana for months walked up to the casket — and laughed.

“They were laughing at the way she looked,” Suzana says, crying. “Even though she died.”---------


Has human life really been so devalued that people could seriously laugh at a young person who took her own life? Has "the love of many grown cold" to this level?

My opinion is that extreme cases like this are not merely a symptom of kids being kids, but a reflection of the moral decay of our society.

Here is my two cents,

Cent # 1. Although bullying has always existed, the ability to engage in character assassination using things like social networks and websites designed specifically to attack individuals, lets the torment continue 24/7 and also allows for a level of anonymity.

cent #2---I can't help but believe that we are creating an environment in our culture where this is becoming acceptable. we have turned public humiliation into entertainment and kids watch HOURS of programming (even on "family friendly" channels" where they are schooled in how to be cruel and rude under the guise of family entertainment.

I'm not trying to be anti technology and I'm not saying we can raise kids in a bubble, but I pray by the grace of God that a generation of Jesus Followers is raised up who will recognize this for the evil that it is, and let Philippians 2:3-4 be their standard!!!

Do you think bullying is worse now than when you were young or am I way off here? I'd love to hear your thoughts or bully stories.

scare tactics

short video clip of my wife and Jenny both getting scared at work =)

All dogs go to heaven?

I've been asked before if I think there will be animals, or even more specifically pets, in heaven. While I am unaware of any scripture verifying that as factual, there is the old saying nothing is impossible, so who knows. I also realize that people become very attached to their pets and want the absolute best for them. I'm all for that too.

I want you to imagine yourself in your living room watching Kurt Cameron and the left behind series with your family. Your so grateful that being a christian and all, there is no way your getting caught off guard when the believers get whisked away. Suddenly you find yourself staring at fido on the floor and you wonder........"what would happen to good ole fido if I were to be raptured???????????

Whatever your position on pets and the after life, what I'm about to share is going to blow the doors off of not only your theology, but the entrepreneur spirit of American commerce.

I bring you, "eternal earthbound pets" --"The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World." Yes you heard correctly. For only 110 dollars, you can be assured that if the rapture should occur anytime within ten years of them receiving your payment, your pet will be rescued and cared for by those who are left behind. (one pet per residence, each additional pet is $15 more)

Again, you heard correctly, "christians" are actually paying 110 dollars so that a "screened" animal loving atheist in the midst of a chaotic world where presumably one plus billion people will have vanished from cars and planes instantly, is going to track down your cat and nurse it back to post rapture health.

There are so many things wrong here I don't know how to process this. Can you imagine someone calling (presumably a christian) and asking "how can I be sure you hate Jesus?" "You better call me if you ever get saved, I've got a cat I'm worried about!" We seriously have a world to reach with the truth of Jesus, and I'm not trying to make a complete joke of this, but it is a little crazy. I would be super interested in finding out how many people have actually coughed up the dough.

I've included a link to the "frequently asked questions" (which includes how they will care for your "special needs" pet) so that you can have all the facts before you consider purchasing this valuable service.

I heart boobies?

Wondering what the first thought that came to your mind was when you read this blogs title? Inappropriate? I would agree. Apparently, there is a growing segment of people that would disagree and consider this to be an instrumental marketing tool to raise awareness for breast cancer and its victims. The bigger issue is that they are being worn by high school and jr high students causing concern about sexual harassment, cancer awareness, and giggling adolescents.

While I"ll leave it to the school officials to decide whether they should be allowed or not, here is my take on it.

First off, many if not most teenagers are not mature enough to handle the slang word used here even if you do believe it's going to create dialogue and raise awareness. The majority of students are just going to wear them because it pushes the limits and I believe it will lead to more harassment then actual discourse on the topic of breast cancer.

Secondly, and more importantly, to do something like this cheapens the message. I equate it to PETA using naked people to try to get their message out. It's controversial and draws attention more than anything else. The problem with using that ploy with cancer is the insensitivity it reflects toward those who have been affected. Cancer is no joke. It is straight from the devil and deadly serious. 250,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year alone and countless people are affected in a negative way because of it.

Not to mention that breast cancer is not the only cancer ruining lives. What about colon cancer, is "i heart rectums" next? My dad died of Mesothelioma and I don't think a "I heart asbestos" bracelet has hit the market yet.

Maybe I'm making this a bigger deal than it is, but do we really have to "sexualize" every single thing in this country in order be heard? I loved when all the pro athletes wore pink for breast cancer awareness, this however presents the message in a most unflattering way. I pray for a wave of the Holy Spirit to sweep across our mtv, jersey shore generation, and I pray for those who have been affected by the ugliness of cancer. I miss you and love you Dad.

praise the Lord or pass the pancakes?

can't we all just get along? I remember in my old c.r.c church days, showing up with my dad for the good ol saturday morning pancake breakfast. We would throw a few bucks in the folgers can and sit down to tackle a tower of fluffy goodness.

Those days are seemingly over as the war over "IHOP" is getting heated. Apparently the "international house of pancakes" is suing the "international house of prayer" over the use of it's acronym. The pancake house claims to have had the letters coined in the 1950's while the prayer house has only been around ten years. This bodes the question of why the pancake giant would wait until now to make a fuss? It seems they fear that there will be some confusion now that some of the international house of Prayer's are serving food...................?

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine that anyone is going to walk into the pancake house and say they want Mike Bickle to wait on their table, nor can I imagine anyone walking into a 24 hour prayer center and ordering a short stack. But maybe some people might replace the annointing oil with blueberry syrup and that could make things pretty sticky.

I'm just thankful that the group J.O.N (jolly odd neanderthals) have allowed me to keep my name without litigation. I don't have time to take this to court and I heard they have a pretty powerful attorney named Lucy?

Well I'm off to make some pancakes, I might just pray over them too, and maybe I'll confuse myself.

milestone

Many things have happened that have marked our world over the years. Men landing on the moon, the fall of communism, and the creation of redbull to name a few.

Now we can add to that list "Ava Zondervan no longer sucks her thumb". For quite some time now we have tried to determine the best way to deter this habit so that she won't need braces for the better part of a decade. We contemplated everything from hot sauce to amputation, but it actually happened rather organically.

We had a going away ceremony for her blanket. She literally has had this blanket since birth and was the queen of finding the tag, positioning it under her nose, and then sucking her thumb until she passed out. All we did was make a special box (not really all that special, old gift box with pink paper) for her blanket and then told her now that she was six she didn't need it and we would put it somewhere safe. TA DA!!! Instantly the thumb which had been so connected to the blanket was no longer seen as necessary and she hasn't done it once since=)

ORTHODONTIC VICTORY!!! (or at least postponement)